A BUMP IN THE NIGHT

There are few things more disturbing than an invasion by an unwelcome guest. A tiresome visitor, carpenter ants, head lice. Or bats.

Last weekend I was roused from a deep slumber by a noise in the attic at the cabin. It seemed to be a branch on the roof or maybe a squirrel or chipmunk trapped in the rain gutter. No, that wasn’t really it. I knew it, but was in denial. I have lived with an occasional bat getting into the house but never dealt with residency. I panicked. Then, realizing I wouldn’t want to know until morning light, fell back to sleep.

The cabin has an unfinished attic, with no floor, only insulation on studs. There are no lights or windows. It’s accessible only through a small opening in the ceiling in our bedroom above the bed. And directly above the side on which I sleep.

The next morning, I informed my husband of my suspicions. He took a ladder and a flashlight to the attic. And spotted at least 25 bats hanging on the walls in a deep slumber.

I promptly placed a call to the “bat man,” a professional bat re-locater to snag a date with him and his services. He travels the upper Midwest with his wife, ridding homes of the persistent attic dweller. From what they have told me, bats live about 30 years and hate to be ousted from the spot they choose to reside in. Homes are warm, unlike caves and bat houses and, according to the DNR website, bats will opt for heated digs any day of the week.

Well, I haven’t had an appetite since they arrived. Or at least since I learned that we share the same home. But I’m sure I can rifle through my collection of recipes to include some here, even though I may not have tried them lately. If my recipes were in the attic, the column would end right here.

BUMP IN THE NIGHT IRISH COFFEE

Fresh lime wedge

Sugar

3/4 cup hot, strong black coffee

1 ounce Irish whiskey

2 tablespoons lightly whipped cream

Rub the lime wedge around the rim of a glass coffee mug. Dip the rim in sugar to coat. Pour coffee into mug. Add 1 to 2 teaspoons sugar and whiskey. Stir. Slide the whipped cream off a spoon to float it on top of the coffee. Drinking a cup of this will ensure the courage to investigate any bump in the night.

DARK AS A CAVE CHOCOLATE CUPCAKES

1-1/2 cups flour

1 cup sugar

1/4 cup cocoa

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 cup buttermilk

1/2 cup butter, melted

1 egg

Maraschino cherries

In a mixing bowl, combine flour, sugar, cocoa, soda and salt. Mix well. Add buttermilk, butter and egg and blend until dry ingredients are moistened. Fill paper lined muffin tins 1/3 full. Place a cherry in the center of dough. Top with more batter to 2/3 full. Bake at 375 degrees for 17 to 22 minutes. Cool and frost.

VANILLA FROSTING

2 cups powdered sugar

1/4 cup butter, softened

3/4 teaspoon vanilla

2 to 3 tablespoons milk or half and half

Combine frosting ingredients in a medium bowl with a hand held mixer, adding enough milk or cream to desired spreading consistency. Frost cooled cupcakes and top with chocolate sprinkles.

EVERYTHING LOOKS BETTER IN THE MORNING BLUEBERRY MUFFINS

2 cups flour

3/4 cup sugar

1 tablespoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1/8 teaspoon nutmeg

1/8 teaspoon cloves

1-1/2 cups blueberries

1 tablespoon flour

1/3 cup butter

8 ounces cream cheese

1/2 cup 2% milk

2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla

1-1/2 tablespoons coarse ground sugar

In a mixing bowl, combine 2 cups flour with next 6 ingredients. Stir with a whisk. Toss blueberries in 1 tablespoon flour to coat. Place butter and cream cheese in a medium bowl, beat with a mixer at high speed 1 minute. Add milk, eggs and vanilla to butter mixture. Beat to combine. Add butter mixture to flour mixture; stir until just moist. Gently fold in blueberry mixture. Spoon batter into 14 muffin cups. Sprinkle coarse ground sugar over top. Bake at 425 degrees for 15 minutes. 

MOTHER'S DAY MUSINGS

Here comes another Mother’s Day, and I can’t believe how incredibly blessed I feel to be one and to have had one that was so amazing. I am reliving the days of my childhood when I would make Mom such goofy gifts that I’m amazed she kept a straight face as she opened them. If not the glitter-encrusted grade school gems, it was my homemade sand candles straight out of the seventies when I was “hippie-girl,” complete with patchouli oil, beaded headbands and big bellbottoms.

I redeemed myself later, as a young bride, by finding matching gifts for Mom and my dear mother-in-law, Charlotte Johnson, who were both so accomplished at making a wonderful home. I would search for meaningful gifts: baskets of gardening supplies, pretty aprons, cookbooks, recipe cards, teapots and books. For several years, I made them dinner on Mother’s Day, beef tenderloin, asparagus with lemon sauce, meringue-topped rhubarb pie. When offered a choice of dining out or in, they decided it was ever so much more fun at our house where our 3 young children romped about and entertained their captive audience.

Those little ones are now grown and long gone and have feted me in countless ways and expressed appreciation for my love. Now, this is the first Mother’s Day I get to witness my daughter as a mother which, of course, means I’m now a you-know-what. Still waiting to see what Lucia will decide to call me.What joy, this business of growing old brings: growing wiser, richer in things that last, deeper in love with my expanding circle.

Today my brother and I rifled through Mom’s plethora of recipes, searching for the cherished one that, more than any others, brings her to mind. We chuckled at her stained cookbooks, Tim joking that he thought we could just add water to the book and have a meal in itself.

When I am no longer here, I pray that my life will have made a difference in the world I was a part of, that my children and theirs will remember special things about me and care enough to pass the mangled cookbooks and ragged potholders to their own daughters. It’s, like the memories, pretty darn precious stuff.

SPRINGTIME ASPARAGUS WITH LEMON CHIVE SAUCE

1 pound asparagus

4 ounces cream cheese, room temperature

1/4 cup yogurt, room temperature

Grated zest of one lemon, with a squeeze of juice

1 tablespoon finely chopped chives

Snap off tough stems of asparagus. Fill a large skillet halfway with lightly salted water and bring to a boil over high heat. Add asparagus. Cook until just tender, 5 to 7 minutes. Drain and place on a heated platter.  To make the sauce,  blend cheese and yogurt together in a medium bowl until smooth. Whisk in lemon zest and salt. Spoon sauce over top of asparagus. Garnish with lemon zest.

FRESH FROM THE PATCH RHUBARB MERINGUE PIE

1 unbaked pie crust

2 or 3 cups fresh rhubarb, chopped

1-3/4 cup sugar

3 heaping Tablespoons flour

2 eggs, beaten

1/2 cup cream

Sprinkle rhubarb over the bottom of an unbaked pie crust. In a medium bowl, stir together sugar and flour. Beat in eggs and cream. Pour over rhubarb. Bake at 450 degrees for 15 minutes. Reduce heat to 375 degrees and bake for 40 minutes more.

MERINGUE

6 egg whites

1/2 teaspoon cream of tartar

3/4 cup sugar

1 tablespoon cornstarch

In a mixing bowl, beat egg whites and cream of tartar until frothy. Gradually add sugar. Beat until very stiff. Sprinkle in cornstarch and beat until blended. Spread over hot pie, sealing to the edges. Bake at 350 degrees for 10-15 minutes till lightly browned. Cool gradually and avoid drafts. Keep leftovers refrigerated.

MOM’S CHERRY WHITE CLOUD

48 marshmallows

1 cup milk

1 teaspoon vanilla

1/4 teaspoon salt

2 cups whipping cream, whipped but not sweetened

2-15 ounce cans cherry pie filling

Graham cracker crumbs

Whipping cream

Sprinkle a layer of graham cracker crumbs over the bottom of a 9 by 13 inch pan. In a saucepan over medium heat, melt marshmallows in milk. Add vanilla and salt. Cool. Whip cream and fold into marshmallow mixture. Spread on top of graham cracker crumbs. Carefully spread cherries over top of marshmallow layer. Cover cherry layer with whipped cream and sprinkle graham cracker crumbs liberally over top. Chill. Cut into squares. Keep leftovers refrigerated.