A BUMP IN THE NIGHT

There are few things more disturbing than an invasion by an unwelcome guest. A tiresome visitor, carpenter ants, head lice. Or bats.

Last weekend I was roused from a deep slumber by a noise in the attic at the cabin. It seemed to be a branch on the roof or maybe a squirrel or chipmunk trapped in the rain gutter. No, that wasn’t really it. I knew it, but was in denial. I have lived with an occasional bat getting into the house but never dealt with residency. I panicked. Then, realizing I wouldn’t want to know until morning light, fell back to sleep.

The cabin has an unfinished attic, with no floor, only insulation on studs. There are no lights or windows. It’s accessible only through a small opening in the ceiling in our bedroom above the bed. And directly above the side on which I sleep.

The next morning, I informed my husband of my suspicions. He took a ladder and a flashlight to the attic. And spotted at least 25 bats hanging on the walls in a deep slumber.

I promptly placed a call to the “bat man,” a professional bat re-locater to snag a date with him and his services. He travels the upper Midwest with his wife, ridding homes of the persistent attic dweller. From what they have told me, bats live about 30 years and hate to be ousted from the spot they choose to reside in. Homes are warm, unlike caves and bat houses and, according to the DNR website, bats will opt for heated digs any day of the week.

Well, I haven’t had an appetite since they arrived. Or at least since I learned that we share the same home. But I’m sure I can rifle through my collection of recipes to include some here, even though I may not have tried them lately. If my recipes were in the attic, the column would end right here.

BUMP IN THE NIGHT IRISH COFFEE

Fresh lime wedge

Sugar

3/4 cup hot, strong black coffee

1 ounce Irish whiskey

2 tablespoons lightly whipped cream

Rub the lime wedge around the rim of a glass coffee mug. Dip the rim in sugar to coat. Pour coffee into mug. Add 1 to 2 teaspoons sugar and whiskey. Stir. Slide the whipped cream off a spoon to float it on top of the coffee. Drinking a cup of this will ensure the courage to investigate any bump in the night.

DARK AS A CAVE CHOCOLATE CUPCAKES

1-1/2 cups flour

1 cup sugar

1/4 cup cocoa

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 cup buttermilk

1/2 cup butter, melted

1 egg

Maraschino cherries

In a mixing bowl, combine flour, sugar, cocoa, soda and salt. Mix well. Add buttermilk, butter and egg and blend until dry ingredients are moistened. Fill paper lined muffin tins 1/3 full. Place a cherry in the center of dough. Top with more batter to 2/3 full. Bake at 375 degrees for 17 to 22 minutes. Cool and frost.

VANILLA FROSTING

2 cups powdered sugar

1/4 cup butter, softened

3/4 teaspoon vanilla

2 to 3 tablespoons milk or half and half

Combine frosting ingredients in a medium bowl with a hand held mixer, adding enough milk or cream to desired spreading consistency. Frost cooled cupcakes and top with chocolate sprinkles.

EVERYTHING LOOKS BETTER IN THE MORNING BLUEBERRY MUFFINS

2 cups flour

3/4 cup sugar

1 tablespoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1/8 teaspoon nutmeg

1/8 teaspoon cloves

1-1/2 cups blueberries

1 tablespoon flour

1/3 cup butter

8 ounces cream cheese

1/2 cup 2% milk

2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla

1-1/2 tablespoons coarse ground sugar

In a mixing bowl, combine 2 cups flour with next 6 ingredients. Stir with a whisk. Toss blueberries in 1 tablespoon flour to coat. Place butter and cream cheese in a medium bowl, beat with a mixer at high speed 1 minute. Add milk, eggs and vanilla to butter mixture. Beat to combine. Add butter mixture to flour mixture; stir until just moist. Gently fold in blueberry mixture. Spoon batter into 14 muffin cups. Sprinkle coarse ground sugar over top. Bake at 425 degrees for 15 minutes.